Saturday, August 24, 2013

Why do people cheat?

While watching an episode of cheaters yesterday and becoming disgusted not only at the cheater but the fools who were willing to take them back. I want to know why do people cheat. The way I see it is, no one is holding a gun up to your head to stay in a relationship. If you want someone else why not tell the person you're with so they can move on with their life. I have zero respect for any man or woman who cheats. You can easily break up and be free to do as you please. Why take someone through that? I've come to the conclusion that most men cheat just because they think it's "cool"  They are called  playas, pimps,ladies men, and blah blah. When women cheat they are called sluts and whores. There is a double standard. So many women are naive (dumb) to take back cheating men. How many of you men would honestly take back a cheating woman?  I have come up with a list of reasons why I think people cheat
1. Selfish
2. Revenge
3. Wanting to feel attractive. Knowing that people out there still want you.
4. The thrill

I think that infidelity is the new norm. Monogamy is dead. 15% of  wives and 25% of husbands have cheated on their spouse according to American Assoc for Marriage. I doubt those numbers are close to being correct. Many studies have shown men and women cheat for different reasons. I doubt it. Men cheat for more sex and women cheat for emotions. I think its Bull. Women can't have sex just to have sex? Does it have to have emotions? I highly doubt that. Then again many of the researchers happens to be men so of course they would like to think that. I've watched plenty of videos on infidelity,and read research studies. Almost all of the men who were caught cheating tried to play the victim,like they wanted sympathy. If you have a family at home why cheat? If there's someone out there you want to be with, why not end things with your spouse? What's so hard about being man or woman enough to break up or divorce someone. I'd rather have a guy tell me he wants someone else so I can move on rather than cheat. Now on to the women. A lot of the times when a woman catches her man cheating who is the person she tries to fight? The other woman! Why? She isn't the one deceiving you, it's your man. That shows that women tend to blame the other woman rather than the man who is cheating on them. It is very sickening. This world is full of weak people. Too afraid to live. To afraid to divorce because of what people may say and so on.

Why do people cheat?
Why do people stay with cheaters?
Any comments or experience please share.

BTW sexting is cheating ppl.

20 comments:

  1. To feel again, to not be lonely and empty in my heart

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  2. well if 1 is cheating he or she is not getting what they want or need at home i am not saying its right but you hear that alot i am not getting it at home or i just dont them anymore

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  3. In my case it is because my spouse was disabled in an accident and is paralyzed from the waist down. Along with that she has developed several other serious health problems and is basically house and bed bound.
    I could not live with myself by leaving her, she needs my care, and support but I too have needs both physical and emotional. I am curious as to how you feel about my situation...zero respect??

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    1. Sorry to hear that. My dad is paralyzed. My mom took care of him for a while before he was put in a home. It's great that u are taking care of your spouse. Are you married? But any who just something happens to someone you love commitment goes out of the window?

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    2. Yes I am married. Something I think you are mistaken about is equating being married to being in love. People change over time, everyone does. Many people fall in and out of love with each other several times during the course of a marriage, the ups and downs but it is the commitment that keeps a marriage alive.
      Would I cheat if she were the person I married? No I wouldn't there is no doubt about that. I could deal without the physical aspect, but to have neither the physical or communication and companionship of a mate is a little more than most people can contend with for years on end.

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    3. My personal opinion. I think it is more disrespectful and hurtful to your wife that you are cheating instead of leaving her. I myself would rather my husband leave than cheat, but then again no matter what he would do it would make me believe that he did'nt love me. Whatever happened to staying true no matter what?

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    4. Let me make one thing clear, I do still care about her and her well being we have been married for over 30 years.
      All I can say is "walk a mile in my shoes", it's easy to sit where you are and pontificate on how things should be, but in reality neither of you know what you would really do, or how the daily grind of caring for and watching someone you once shared a life with wither.
      As far as it being better that I leave...really?? Do you think she would really be better off in a nursing home cut off from everything familiar? Everything she knows?
      Quamisha...maybe you should ask your mother, she may not be so quick to condemn having lived through similar experience.
      Anonymous...I don't think you have a clue as to what this type of situation is like.

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    5. This story makes me very scared and very sad. When people make that vow, they are kind of hoping that if they ever got seriously hurt or injured, that they have somebody that will still see them for who they are on the inside and love them, and only them still. You know your spouse probably feels a huge level of embarrassment about the injuries and inability to be who they use to. Please don't further the shame and embarrassment by cheating on them too. :'( Loyalty and dedication has amazing rewards.

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  4. I cheated and being a woman I can tell you that it was for the excitement i wasn't getting at home, sex was good and still is. I can also say that my husband left and everything is fine i think both of us were over with everything that was going on in our relationship. After 25 years we lost each other, I do believe we still love each other, at least i will always love him. We had two children and that is why stuck it out for as long as we did.

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  5. Zero respect? Thanks. I cheated because I wanted to feel again. I was dead inside. I had two children who loved their father very much and he loved them very much and was a good father. Why should I let my selfishness ruin their lives and his? I had one b/f and we saw each other when we could, without taking too much time from our families. Our relationship lasted for 7 years and we are both still married to our spouses. He's been married 25 years and I have been married 33 years. We each make our own choices and just because I chose to keep my family together, my own way, does not make me a whore.

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  6. I will not feel sorry for anyone who cheats. If you are bored,unhappy or whatever why would you sleep with someone else and then go back to your spouse. That is a filthy thing to do. Can't trust a cheater

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    1. Agree Quamisha! If your life is so miserable with someone why cheat and continue to be with the person. You can always leave. I have little respect for cheaters as well

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  7. Cheating.
    After years of questioning it I discovered why.

    I call it ABC(D,E,F) Relationship. Its where a person is fed up with trying to find all the things they want bundled together in another person. (We all know its rare to find the ALL qualities we want in just one person) So the result is finding two (or more) people who have the qualities too complete fulfillment.

    Here's the err that happens. Women, new in a relationship, almost always have sex with the new partner daily for the first month or so then they "problem" the quantity of times down to recuperate. This creates dual tension it affects the man by cutting down his quantity, which affects his romantic forwardness. This has two effects. First he will begin searching again; second she will lose interest after the romantic actions fade.

    It pretty much is like this with both men and women less a balance of importance which is opposite. Men usually have a favorite portion of the body of collection, women generally appease three of each of the 'Sexually active guy, the party guy, the homebody guy, naturalist, the Father, the Romantic, the Jock, the shopper etc...

    The click from high school lives deep in our minds and oddly enough as adults, we want to have our hearts as well as our eyes desire (Have our cake and eat it too)

    Why do people return to cheaters? They do this because they finally understand or make the choice to be everything the other wants or needs. Sometimes, they accept that they cannot be all those things, but accept him or her seeking (Carefully selecting an appropriate partner mutually safe and beneficial)

    Which is why if you know someone who has returned to a cheating companion and you hear or see it.. KEEP IT TO YOURSELF! He or she has accepted it, and truly does not want it brought to their attention. (allow me to emphasize if you know a couple who have not split and he/she is found cheating by all means announce it)

    None of what I said here is information to go about cheating away nor a Cheat Pass, its simply the absolute non diluted truth for what we cheat and its so much simpler than any psychological advocate wishes to imply.

    Good Luck, be happy and remember Communication is Paramount! Never close the lines for fear of the answer, you only hurt yourself and others!

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  8. I will put it simple, that the woman you want to show to momma is rarely the woman you want to ...do hard..and that is simple, the fact that close to 50% of traditional couples make it, and closer to 65% of swing couples make it is a statistical certainty that we are not doing it right with our current ideas on what a man and woman have to share..love and respect, yes..good sex and poly relationship are VERY healthy but our religions do not allow for such things..to bad

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  9. I think a lot of people cheat because they are not getting what they need in the relationship, no doubt. BUT I think people have developed this concept that they should ALWAYS be getting what they need at any time. When there has been an ongoing issue in the house, or a lack of sexual intimacy, or whatever the lack of may be, that is when somebody may turn to cheating. ONLY thing is, it is UNREALISTIC to expect to ALWAYS be getting what you need at your convenience. What happened to actually honoring your commitment? Sitting somebody down and addressing issues with them (NOT WHILE FIGHTING) and coming forward with your lack of? Chances are, if you go about in the RIGHT way, you will get some compromise. COMPROMISE is the key word to me. Doesn't mean you'll get everything you want, but it does mean you and the other person can come to an agreement on what's best for both. Of course, there are those situations where somebody isn't willing to do ANY compromising, or the relationship has been dead for years. In that case, do yourself and your family a favor, divorce, break up, whatever. I was telling my SOON TO BE ex husband, you can't have a wife, and a lil sexy girl on the side without making yourself look like a 100% complete piece of sh*t. You make yourself look bad to the wife and her family, kids (when they hear the story when their older!), the mistress (if she didn't know), her family and friends, your own family and friends, and anybody else who catches wind of it. Let's face it, "Cheating is a great quality", nobody said EVER. Every human being can agree that lies and cheating is just the worst. People, use your brains! There are better ways to handle your urges and desires!

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  10. Im currently in a relationship that I have discovered I was cheated on. She has 3 kids and I have none. She is also ten years my senior. She can do what she wants and Im supposed to stay a fathet figure to her kids. I told her due to our money issues we will live together temporarly but once a love knocks on my heart I will leave her immediatly. Her kids are not my responsability and her actions were selfish. She cried claiming she will lose her kids to their fathers. I topd her at day 1 when we met that I wanted a mobogamous relationship. Fuck her and her bullshit. Cheating to me is self sabatoge. I deserve better and will take this lesson to heart that if you make an agreement to a type of lifestyle and relationship and go against it, not only are you a cheater, but a liar and a minipulative cunt. PEACE!

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  11. humans are not programmed to be monogamous.

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  12. humans are not programed to be monogamous.

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  13. Wow! bitter boy there with the C word. Anyway..My partner and I have been together for 15 years and our relationship is open. I started this with the idea of monogamy, but needless to say..that changed. Of course now he pesters me constantly about whether I have had sex with anyone recently and doesn't want me to. I am honest and have always been honest with him when I do sleep with someone else. However, he opened that bag of worms when I busted him years ago, and he lied. So, I pretty much felt turn about is fair play. I wasn't about to sit home and be denied pleasure because he was sleeping with someone else. Not concerned what others think, just throwing this out there to say.."We are all adults and we do what we want to do". If someone doesn't like it or wants out, then leave. We should not judge anyone. I can assure you while the sexual aspect of some relationships seem ideal and monogamous...you're a fool if you believe it will stay that way. We all have improvements to make.

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